Communication and the Family Meeting
While there are many components required for a successful business family, communication tops the list. Effective communication in your business family allows family members to share their needs, wants and concerns with each other.
It is through communication that your family resolves many of the unique difficulties that are part and parcel of owning and working in a family business. Unfortunately, communication within most families is complicated by history and relationships, with wealth and the family business adding another layer of complexity.
Overlapping Worlds of Family & Business
While family and business may include many of the same people, they represent different worlds. The world of the family is anchored in emotion and unconditional acceptance, a nurturing environment in which to “grow” children. The business world is cold and rational, acceptance is conditional upon performance, and the objective is to make a profit.
These worlds are at odds with one another. It is the movement of family members between worlds, at the point of overlap where the rules change, expectations are different, and a change in behaviour is required, that the potential for dispute and conflict arises. A state of affairs that, if left unresolved, may destroy all that you contributed to building.
My advice is to introduce an element of awareness and formality in how you communicate as a business family early on in your journey.
Start with Yourself
Whatever your position or role in the family, communicating effectively is a critical life skill. Start by building your own communication skills and focus on the following:
- Be conscious.Recognize the context, what’s going on around you, your own emotional state and those with you. Be conscious of how your message is being received.
- Be aware of non-verbal communication. A significant portion of what is communicated between listener and speaker is non-verbal. Is your body language in sync with what you said?
- Listen. Remove the barriers to becoming a better listener. Examples of barriers include planning your response before the person speaking has finished, and interrupting the person speaking in mid-sentence.
- Use the right words. Avoid using words the listener won’t understand, that are vague or emotionally charged.
- Ask for feedback. Ensure that what you are communicating is understood.
Family Meeting
The family meeting will be the first of many governance structures the young business family will introduce as it grows and matures.
It may start out life as an informal meeting in the family kitchen, or a Sunday afternoon family gettogether. As your business grows, the need to formalise the meeting in terms of who should attend, where and when it should be held, what is to be discussed and the decision to be made will be recognised.
Embrace the development for it is a sign of success, your business family is growing. Set out below a few pointers to consider in anticipation of your first family meeting:
- The family meeting must be a safe place for family members to talk to each other without fear of being judged and criticised while being listened to with respect.
- Identify in advance who will attend the meeting. Are spouses and children included?
- Prepare a formal written agenda with input from all who will attend the meeting. This will help you keep matters on track.
- Nominate a chairperson.
- Set out a few basic rules on how you will engage each other:
- Be respectful.
- Listen and do not interrupt.
- Be empathetic. It’s your family.
- Be honest, but avoid personal attacks.
- Be prepared to explain your reasoning.
Communicating effectively in this manner guarantees you will unlock the potential of your business family.